god help me...

1) i was driving along yesterday and had a very "real" feeling come from an image in my head that has not happened yet. i realized, perhaps for the first time, that i am going to have a teenager someday! i imagined having a conversation with my kid, him talking back to me, running to his room angry at me because i told him he couldn't be kicking it with that hoochie he's been talking to lately. i got chills...wierd bodily reaction...sweet jesus, you mean that little brown kid that see in my head is someday gonna want to date hoochies??? God help me...

2) i started reading this book that Steve and Jose recommended called "biblical eldership". it is overall a theological breakdown of the eldership model in the new testament. the do's and don'ts if you will. anyways, i have been thinking about this passage lately that keeps popping into my head. then i heard it on the radio (i was listening to airOne and Luis Palau gave a little 45 second encouragement kinda thing)...the same verse. then i stopped by 'juice it up' to get a smoothie and as i read this book, there it was again.

john 21:14-19

i have thought about this verse for years. i have though about what Jesus was telling Peter there countless times. but i think that this verse has a lot for me this time around.

Peter was essentially one of the leaders of the church, perhaps even the 12 at this point. Jesus had already been crucified and resurrected, but had not yet returned to heaven. it's then that He steps to peter with this...because it it was then that the Church leaders were wondering what to do.

can you imagine being Peter? Jesus is dead, what do they tell the people??

i feel like God is reminding me about the important thing in leadership. to tend to the sheep. protection, guidance, love, tenderness. like Jesus did for us.

then you see Paul's writings in the new testament, which we have been studying in the College Group Bible Study, and he is SOOOO sappy..."I miss you", "I wish I could be there with you", "I pray for you constantly". but the truth is that he cared about them.

i didn't know whether or not to write this because i didn't want to sound like i was writing this as a "pastor". i am writing these things as a Church leader, as a man that is learning to lead biblically. in the Church, leadership is not about power, it is about guidance towards God. and it is also about learning and growing publically. and it is remembering that the Church is not a corporation, but a community and a brotherhood (or sisterhood for Teresa...just kidding).

my goal in life is to help people know God, both as a pastor and as a follower of the One.

God help me...