scared straight

most of you that read this blog know that i go every year to my friend matt's house to scare kids as they go around the neighborhood freeloading...i mean trick or treating. last night was the highlight of my terror career.

matt had to work, so i was on my own. gabriel was back at the house with sonia, penny and umiko handing out candy while i went to work.

before i go on, i must stipulate that i only do this to kids that are a little older and are in packs (at least junior high) or when i am egged on by a parent. believe it or not, some parents point to their children and ask me to scare them. others just laugh as i do it. either way, i have my invitation.

so last night, i spotted my victims coming from down the street. i was standing in the shadows of an elm about a block from matt and penny's house. most people that passed me thought i was fake and kept on, but i listened to their comments on how scary i looked. :)

the 3 girls, about 6th grade age, approached with an older girl dressed like wonder woman, probably about 18-20 years old.

the first little girl stutter stepped and then stopped about 15 feet from me.

is this the one? is this the girl that is going to make my evening??

i was looking right into her eyes as she was trying to figure out if i was real or not. wonder woman told her to keep walking so she did. i moved in front of her to block her way and she screamed and ran to wonder woman. meanwhile, the other two girls started screaming and ran to wonder woman too. she shielded them with her cape and told them that wonder woman would protect them.

they finally got around me and so i followed them down the street for at least 2-3 blocks. they screamed, they ran and hid in bushes. they hid under wonder woman's cape. they did everything they could to hide from me as i calmly walked behind them in the shadows.

i think it was on the second block that they finally started crying hysterically. the first little girl was sobbing so intensely, she dropped her bag of candy.

near the end of the road, i paused. they gained a little distance and thought that i was gone. i waited...i waited....then i moved again. slower...more methodical...more evil. i took deliberate steps tapping my cane on the floor with every right step in a cadence.

they lost it...

they ran so fast, i almost broke character...they got abother 50 feet or so and spotted their mother in the van. they ran for the van doors but they were locked. the first little girl was pulling on the handle while staring straight at me and weeping. finally, the mom opened the doors and they all rushed in.

so you think this is the end of the story huh? no sir.

i stepped into another shadow. i was waiting for my next victim when i realized that the van had not moved. so i made my way around the back of the van. wonder woman saw me and was laughing already. i crept up to the window where the first little girls was seated and put my face right up to the mirror. but she didn't see me. her chest was shaking from her trying to catch her breath and recover from her sobbing.

then she saw me. SHE EXPLODED. she let out this huge scream and started swinging her arms at the window in terror. she was crying hysterically, and so were her two cohorts. meanwhile, mom, the aunt (or whoever that was in the passenger seat) and wonder woman are cracking up.

i had her scared so bad, i had to remove my mask, which is something that i have never had to do in all of the years I have been scaring children for pleasure.

i saw them again later in the night. i was standing on one side of the street while they were crossing nearby.

you know what the first little girl said to me?

"ha ha, i'm not scared".

not anymore...but you better thank your momma that she had that extra pair of underwear for you SUCKA!!!! cuz you got GOT!