what's this? what's this? (c) jack skellington

i have lots of stuff floating around in my mind, but one topic seems to be prevalent. i cannot seem to wrap my mind around the divorce epidemic in the Church. it consumes my mind every day. nothing has caused me more pain in my life than this. as i get older, i am watching more and more friends and family struggling through their marriages and opting to divorce even though the Bible forbids it except for the cases of infidelity (even then, God says you are hard of heart to choose divorce - see Matthew 19). i can't say that i understand the pain of a jacked up marriage because sonia and i have an incredible relationship, but i do know that the Bible does not teach giving up on your marriage. so why is it that this is happening in the Church?

pastor joseph novak of the hungarian church that lends us their facilities to have "the gathering" told me something interesting over coffee months ago. he said that in hungary, no one ever divorced. literally. he never saw divorce until he reached america. in the hungarian Church, people read the Bible and they saw that you shouldn't divorce. even outside of the Church, the communists didn't allow divorce.

so what is it about the american Church that is so different?

i heard a sermon (or whatever the Muslims call it) that my Muslim friend Ali gave me to listen to once called "The Coca Cola Muslim". the speaker used the analogy of the coca cola sugar highs and lows to talk about the temporary highs and lows of the stuff that society has to offer. sex, drugs, power, fame, etc all feel really good for a while. but the low afterwards really sucks. this is why people keep chasing the corporate ladder, harder drugs, etc. They can't stand the lows. anyways, the point of the sermon was that Islam was allowing outside forces to influence how they do things instead of sticking to the Qu'ran. i swear, i could have heard this sermon in a Christian church. we are doing the very same thing.

the reason the Church is filled with divorce is because we are allowing things other than the Bible to influence how we make decisions. instead of looking at the Scripture and believing that it is truth, i see people looking for other influences (new "friends" that don't believe in the Bible, bogus "you are great...love yourself..." seminars that feed you a bunch of lies) and retract from the Church. they harden their hearts.....

to tell you the truth, the divorces i have seen happen over the last few years make me sick to my stomach at times. none of them had to happen if the person that initiated the divorce would have been WILLING to forgive. instead, i watched them slowly harden their hearts until they were gone. not even the knowledge that their actions would destroy their children made any difference.

i struggle daily being a friend to those that have willingly chosen this road (<edit> but I am trying really hard <end edit>). it is a choice. no matter what the world says, forgiveness and reconciliation is always an option. moreso, forgiveness and reconciliation is always the best option. i know this because that is what the Bible says.

christian, trust the wisdom of God over your emotions. "trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" (proverbs 3:5) "husbands, love you wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her..." (ephesians 5:25) "Because of you hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives..." (matthew 19:8)